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Thank you, Miss Emily Litella

Country Musings by Robert Loy, July 2002

ROBERT LOY: As a tribute to the late great Gilda Radner, this issueÕs Country Musings is a guest editorial from Miss Emily Litella.

EMILY LITELLA: Thank you, itÕs good to be here at the Country Museum with Mister Robber Boy. ThatÕs a funny name, by the way, what are you, a banker?

Anyway, IÕve been a country music fan for a long time now. I grew up listening to all the big stars like Hefty Frizzell and Fatsy Cline. And it was always good wholesome stuff. But lately prejudice and racism is working its evil way into country music.

Why, just the other day I turned on my radio and heard someone singing about how there were no Italians around. Only he didnÕt use the word ÒItalian.Ó No, he used an offensive racial slur. His exact words were ÒNot a dagoÕs by.Ó

Now, it wouldnÕt surprise me if this sort of blatant anti-Italian stuff was played on a rock and roll station. Dislike of Italians is built into rock and roll, which actually started out as boo-wop music, but I expect better from country.

ROBERT LOY: Uh, Ms. Litella -

EMILY LITELLA: And is if that wasnÕt bad enough, then imagine my shock when I discovered that the singer was a porn star. When did we start allowing porn stars to sing anti-Italian songs on the radio? IsnÕt that a slap in the face to all the great Italian country singers like Tony Keith and Vinnie Pearl and Lasagna Twain and -

ROBERT LOY: Ms. Litella IÕm afraid thereÕs been some misunderstanding. (whispers in her ear)

EMILY LITELLA: Oh, itÕs Ònot a day goes byÓ oh I see. And itÕs by Lonestar not a porn star. Oh, well, thatÕs very different, isnÕt it? (to audience) Never mind.