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Who let the (George Jones) dog (food) out?

Country Musings by Robert Loy, May 2001

Ya know, there have been so many songs about dance in a metaphorical sense - "The Dance"; "Life's a Dance"; "I Hope You Dance" - that when Brad Paisley sings "We Danced" I honestly can't tell if he and his ladyfriend are shaking their booties or searching their souls.

But I can tell you that as I was dancing the aisles of my favorite mart the other day I came across something I had never seen before. A bag of George Jones Brand Dog Food. Yeah, that George Jones. They had a picture of the peerless Possum posing with a playful pooch (say that three times fast) on the front of the bag.

What a great idea. Country music is hugely popular, but you rarely see stars lending their name and their visage to consumer goods. And yeah George Jones designer coke spoons or whiskey (call it George Jones Joy Juice) makes more obvious sense, but the dog food really ought to be a big success.

The problem is they're really not pushing this product very hard, are they? I've never seen it advertised anywhere. A web search turned up only two references - an online chat transcript with former TNN personality Gary Chapman who evidently ate some of the stuff (doesn't say why) and found it so vile that now he thinks God every day that he is not a canine.

And poet and online columnist David Vest who doesn't discuss the dog food per se, but does offer the observation that George Jones looks like a dog food salesman. (Which now that you mention it...)

Somebody's missing a bet. Not only do they have they have the perfect spokesman to sell chow to chow chows, but the guy can sing too. I picture George petting and playing with a healthy-looking mutt while some of his (slightly modified) hits play in the background. Hits like "Still Doing Time (in a Honky-Tonk Pound)"; "The Right Left Paw"; "The Race to the Hydrant is on"; and of course the immortal "He Stopped Humping Her Leg Today."