Morning Wood (Capitol Nashville, 2000)

Let's see, there must be a way to review Rodney Carrington's third CD. Quoting the man is definitely out; he can't say one sentence - or even an independent clause - without using several words that would jeopardize CST's PG rating. Maybe a list of selection titles? There's "Gay Factory Worker" and there's "Titties and Beer." The title track is about - Well, never mind what the title track is about. This isn't going to work either.

But wait. Not everything Carrington does is sexually charged. What about where he talks about opening up an American restaurant in Asia and serving up hot dogs and hamburgers to the "Chinkies." (Great, when he's not sexually explicit he's ethnically insensitive.) Uh, how about Rodney's proposal for improving health and beauty aids. He suggests chicken and beef as better choices for feminine hygiene sprays because -

Okay, think now. Carrington is a family man, father of three boys. Talk about family stuff. Carrington has some ideas for making amusement parks more adult-friendly - the log ride would be a big daddy part that slides into a mommy part.

Uh, I mean, Rodney and his wife are very busy; they have to set up the kids with a Barney video to have any intimate time. Now he can't hear that big purple dinosaur sing "Kookaburra, merry merry king of the bush" without getting aroused. All right, that's it! Forget it. There's no way to review this CD in a family magazine. (Too bad though. Funny stuff.)