I Love an Old Fashioned Christmas (Fiasco, 1997)

A generous person could say that this album tries too hard to be cute. Most critics ran out of generosity long ago, however, and would be more likely to say that the album uses its cutesy chorus of four little girls, cheesily named "Grandma's Little Angels," in an attempt to cover up its complete lack of musical or lyrical merit.

Producer Brien Fisher takes care of the musical part by letting electric keyboards dominate every song. Ted Purvin is the lyrical genius who wrote seven of the songs here, including "Let's Hold Hands," which includes the following revelation: "The world could be so beautiful if only we would share / And the world could be so beautiful if only we would care." Then the little girls pipe in on the chorus, "Let's hold hands as we all walk together / Let's hold hands every step of the way..." You can do one of three things as you listen to this album: laugh, cry, or vomit. Just don't eat a big meal beforehand.