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Everything I know about geography, I learned from country

Country Musings by Robert Loy, October 2003

Our 48th state is a mirage. ("There is no Arizona")

But if it did exist it would be a coastal state ("Oceanfront Property") much like Wyoming ("Beaches of Cheyenne"). There's at least one Southern state that's also a figment of the imagination. ("Carolina in my Mind")

If you're a green-eyed rancher's daughter, God might create a whole state for you. ("You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma") It won't be his favorite state - that's just south of there ("God Blessed Texas") - but it will have its own time zone. ("Tulsa Time")

Speaking of Texas, that state is populated largely by people who weren't quite good enough to go to heaven. ("Texas When I Die") Some of those cherubs might have migrated there from Alabama.("Angel From Montgomery") But more exploration needs to be done on our North Atlantic states; we're not sure who lives there. ("Whoever's in New England")

If you enjoy the effects of marijuana but don't want to break the law, Colorado is the place for you ("Rocky Mountain High") And while we're on the subject of grass, did you know it's blue in Kentucky and so is the lunar orb? ("Blue Moon of Kentucky.")

What else have I learned about geography from listening to country music?

Well, the Mississippi River, Lord, it's one mile wide ("Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man") but she's going dry ("Country Boy Can Survive"), which must be frustrating to the larcenous buccaneers who ply their trade there (remember the Pirates of the Mississippi?)

By the way, there are three types of bodies of water - salt, fresh and 80 proof. ("Whiskey River") And contrary to what the atlas may tell you, it doesn't take a river or an ocean to support large land masses. A brook will do it. ("Islands in the Stream")

If you want to discuss any of this further let's pick some cozy little spot in which to rendezvous. Why don't you meet me in Montana?

©Country Standard Time • Jeffrey B. Remz, editor & publisher •
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